Ramblings Of A Traveler – SE Asia #1

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RAMBLINGS OF A SOUTHEAST (SE) ASIA TRAVELER: Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam

#1  IN THE BEGINNING

Where to go in SE Asia:

Everyone asks me, “How do you know where to go when you travel?” Well, let’s admit it right here, I am a traveling fool. If I haven’t got at least 3 trips planned at one time, I breakout in a very itchy rash. In addition, I am not writing a travel guide here, but I can tell you it doesn’t matter where you go. I sincerely advise and hope you keep some of my ramblings in mind wherever you go because I have experienced what no one should have to. Here are my top 5 suggestions:

1. Do THE tourist things (get a good guidebook, i.e. Fodor’s, Lonely Planet, other)
2. Be seen at THE tourist places
3. Eat/drink THE tourist food/beers/cocktails (forget the water)
4. Stay at THE tourist accommodations making positively sure there is a working     air conditioner somewhere at the place you stay (hopefully in your bedroom).
5. Wear THE tourist garb (don’t try to hide the fact you are a real tourist)

YOU ARE A TOURIST & YOU MUST ACT LIKE IT – Wear your tourist status like a fine spandex bikini. The locals expect it, your country expects it, and your friends and loved ones you left at home expect it.

TRAVELER HINT: 1. Something to keep in mind & believe me you won’t forget, SE Asia is so hot and steamy you’ll feel like you are in a never-ending sweat hell – that’s why the working air conditioner is almost your lifeline to sanity, and 2. always, always, always, always be generous and tip often. You never know when you will need help with transportation, directions, translation, whatever from the local person you just befriended with a tip. In SE Asia, the larger the tip, the more the local person will help you when in need. If you don’t tip or tip small, expect huge language barriers and other unforeseen hurdles. Something to keep in mind: The approximate average MONTHLYsalary for a laborer in USA dollars in Thailand is $180, Cambodia is $195, and Vietnam is $185. Honest, I did not leave out any zeros.

Making sense of what to pack – 5 MUST HAVES in your bag in SE Asia

TRAVELER HINT: DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR TRAVEL BAG THAT CAN BE DEFINED AS NEEDLESS OR USELESS (which is most everything you think you need, but really don’t). We will also skip any mention of clothing as clothing just makes the daily climate worse, but since nudity is strictly forbidden in SE Asia, I’ll leave any clothing decision up to you.

First and foremost: Secure your passport in a slash-proof pouch that can fit nicely around your neck and under your shirt. Always carry the pouch with you on airplanes, buses, and ships; but leave your passport in the hotel safe if possible unless you really want to stay in SE Asia for the rest of your life. Make at least 3 passport copies (1 might be enough depending on your level of forgetfulness) and pack in your travel bag, shoe soles, or underwear. Also, it’s a good idea to include 1 Master or Visa credit card in the pouch around your neck & under your shirt. As an aside, the world DOES NOT like American Express, Discover, Travelers Checks for good reason, but that’s another rambling discussion.

Second most important: USA toothpaste & toothbrush. On a long trip greater than over night, maybe 2 or 3 toothbrushes should be packed. Do not rely on the free toothbrush and toothpaste they give you on the long flight or the freebies at the hotel. I did several times and ended up with a mouth full of bristles and toothpaste with the taste & consistency of glue (some sort of a design flaw I never figured out). Always keep in mind that no one likes to be around you or will answer any of your dumb ass tourist questions if you have bad breath. The local SE Asia people can tolerate a lot from a tourist, but bad breath is NOT one of them.

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