Fantasy Football: The Secret To Legalized Gambling

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If you are like me and don’t want to get drunk intentionally during Sunday football, I have a game for you. Take a drink every time you see a Fan Duel or Draft Kings commercial advertising the next big winner could be YOU!!!! By the end of next Sunday you will A.) Swear off drinking for the rest of your life B.) Call in sick to work at 4:00pm on Sunday or C.) Sign up for one of the sites, enter in a weeks’ worth of pay and be divorced by the following Sunday. In other words, nothing good really will come of this game, but you can say to yourself, ” I didn’t intentionally get drunk, it just happen because of the commercials.”

I cannot remember when I saw such a blatant in your face push of gambling. I mean Vegas doesn’t even push gambling that much. The commercials were almost running one after another. It got to a point that I didn’t even know who was who. I truly believe right now that you could go to either site, sign up and enter the promo code “poop,” it would double your deposit. All in the name of fantasy football which is somehow not gambling.

So you are saying that I put money down, pick my team and compete against other people in games ranging from $1 to $1000 (maybe more, but I am too afraid to even look, being the degenerate gambler that I am) in a winner take all at the end of the games each week and that is not gambling? This is ok to promote as not gambling? So, if I want to bet $100 on the Chiefs beating the Broncos on Thursday night, that is illegal except in three states. However, picking players from the teams is ok in any state? What am I missing here?

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The two fantasy leagues that I am in both require money to be paid out at the end of each season and I am trying my luck at starting and benching players week in and week out to win. That sounds like gambling to me. If there is money exchanged with a chance of losing it by luck and not by your action, then I would say it is gambling.

They don’t even hide behind the option that this is not a gambling site and you can play for free like the old poker site commercials. They are loud and proud to say “Enter you deposit, double your deposit, and win your millions.” And for some reason, the NFL is ok with all this, but won’t support gambling directly per game.  

The NFL will waste time, money and resources on deflated balls for the integrity of the game, but it will allow fantasy football gambling’s sites to dominate week 1 commercials. Not to mention the Draft Kings or Fan Duel spot light on ESPN or the push of the Draft Kings or Fan Duel promo on the NFL network. The integrity of the game just got sold out to promo code “Poop” and nobody even is batting an eyelash. Oh well, at least I will be drunk during  afternoon and evenings games.

One gambling tip I forgot to share. Usually a safe bet is betting against any West Coast team playing an East Coast team in the early time slot, especially college. Those poor West Coast teams just can’t get up for a noon game East Coast time. Easy money and you can tip me when you win big. Man, I am glad football is back.

by Saint Jimma

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Thrill Girl Lorraine Tully

Football Gambling Rules

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With football season rapidly approaching I figured I would lay out my own personal rules of betting in case you have gambling problem like me and your strategy isn’t working. I have learned these guidelines from other gambling junkies, bookies, sports book workers, and just plain old dumb luck types.

I lived in Nevada for five years. What a state! It takes you a solid good six months to a year of living there to block out mentally that there are slot machines in your grocery store. And I am not talking about mom and pop grocery stores; I am talking about chain grocery stores. Crazy thing about it, people would be playing them. Before you even think of accusing me as being one, I can honestly say I never stooped to that level. Thankfully.

I got my first taste of sports betting during my first football season living in Nevada. Boy did I like it. People can say that fantasy enhances a game because you have more to cheer for.  Want an even bigger rush? Drop a $100 on a team to win or cover the spread and watch how you hang on every play from the opening kickoff to the final play of the game. I have won and lost hundreds of dollars on a game ending field goal, made or missed, interception, punt, fumble, dropped pass or safety. It happens that fast.

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For example, do you remember this past Superbowl? Do you remember the pass that Russell Wilson threw to Kearse where he managed to magically pull it down, but didn’t manage to get it in the end zone? Well if he hadn’t been so stunned that he caught the ball and could have gotten into the end zone. Seattle fans would still be celebrating! Plus winner, winner, chicken dinner for me. It wouldn’t have mattered what New England did next. I would have cashed in a mere $10 bet for $560 dollars. I was going to make it rain like a NFL rookie at a strip club (not really but it sounded cool).

So let’s cover some simple guidelines to help make your gambling experience a positive one.

1) NEVER, EVER bet on your team! It is a double whammy. You never want to put that type of pressure on the team you love. Don’t bet for them or against them.  Just stay away. If they win the game, but don’t cover the spread, you will be mad. If they lose the game and don’t cover the spread, you will be mad. I can’t state this strongly enough! Never bet on your team!

2) Always take the home underdog to cover the spread, not to win. This is a common rule to sport’s book pros. They love the home team underdog to COVER the spread. Wait, just to make sure you are reading what I am typing, they bet them to COVER the spread not win the game. In other words, don’t take the Raiders to beat the Broncos at home. However, t it is a good bet they will cover the spread.

3) If you have to rationalize or convince yourself that a team is due to have a good or bad game stay the hell away from the bet! Nothing hampers a gambler’s thinking more than rationalizing things. After they lose you will scream loudly, “What the hell was I was thinking!” However, you will find yourself doing it again next week.

4) Take into account the history of two teams. Look back at what has happen the past couple of years in terms of score and it will be a great indicator of this year. I know this one will force you to hit the google machine, but in the long run, it does really help.

5)  Stay away from the popular games.  This is especially important at the college level. Each week there are over 50 games played in college football. Do you really think the odds makers have the time to accurately breakdown each game? No way! They focus on big money games, big name teams, big booster teams, and individual game such as a Thursday night or Monday night game.

6) Finally, and let’s keep this one between us. In a college game, if you don’t think the big boosters and the college coaches know the spread of their team when playing a creampuff,  then I guess you live in a cave and should just enjoy the view from your mountain top. Actually I can’t believe I just said that out loud. Move over hermit! I am coming to join you before I am assassinated by boosters from the SEC or anyone from the state of Florida, Oklahoma or Texas.

Good luck! I hope my 6 tips about football betting help you win some major bucks!

Saint Jimma

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