Getting Notty With Eva: Lost For Words

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I personally like to think of myself as a positive person. Optimism is a life style on its own.

I just recently found out that the man I considered a friend and a life partner did in fact terminate my dog’s existance. How? I am not quit sure. I don’t even want to think about it. What I do not get is how someone could cause you so much pain and still look you in your face and have no conscience about it? What kind of a sick individual does that to a helpless animal? How do I always end up picking out all of the absolute wrong types of people?

I personally have never been attracted to anyone I have been in an intimate relationship with for any length of time.  I just like to think of them as having a big beautiful heart. I thought that attractive people were the ones with the issues and I should just look for the inner beauty. WRONG….

I have never thought that I would make a mistake or regret anything in my past. Until ex-the-killer. I can’t believe I stayed with someone that was a horrible lover and the world’s worst kisser. I would honestly just lay there and stair at the ceiling and think about my day while being intimate. Thank god it only took about a minute. Why would I even do that to myself? I am always settling for less than what I deserve. That my friends truly sickens me to the core.

I honestly have to learn how to live again.

He just sat by watching me go thru all of this pain. I do not wish any ill will towards him because I know life will make an example out of him soon enough. I will not hold any hatred in my heart because that is only letting him win. What I will do is forgive and try to forget. It sucks how all the good things in life so easily  slip out of our memories. The bad things in life tend to linger and stay fresh on the mind.

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I decide to try dating again this year and what happens? I fall head over heels for the worst person ever. Ex-the-user played me so well. He had so much baggage, so many secrets, and used the ever living daylights out of me for whatever he wanted. When I realized that he was all about himself and my money it was already too late in the game. I had so much invested and couldn’t even tell how I had gotten myself caught up with such a slime bag. He not only had insecurity issues, but he had a small penis. He has a horrible gambling addiction that got him fired from his place of employment for gambling the bar’s money. The owner of the bar had the balls to ask me for the money instead of reporting it to the police. Now he is working in another bar probably doing the same thing. Oh well, I am just glad to be rid of low life people like him.

“There is a special place in hell for people like this!”

I think that I know what the lesson here is…..

I need to learn how to love myself enough to be able to love another and still keep myself number one. If that makes any sense? I tend to be in a good place in life, then think why not try to figure out this loneliness??? Hahahah.. I do not think I will be trying or looking for a very long time. The situations I get myself into because I am so giving and loyal is pretty freaking ridiculous .

Are there any men in the world that aren’t freaking big babies and know how to pick up after themselves? I always get these men that are self sufficient and then I spoil them. I like to help. Then they tend to rely on that and expect it all the time. This makes life that much harder for me. Can I not do something nice every now and then to show I care? Could they not expect to be waited on hand and foot? Is it so hard to put the groceries away or take the clothes out of the dryer? If I am busy can whatever it is not wait?

So freaking lost for words these days. Just lucky to have my bestie Richelle Ryan by my side. Richelle is there for me no matter what happens. Often times she does not approve of what I am doing, but she will be there for me regardless of the outcome. It is people like her that keep this world somewhat sane for me! Thank you Richelle for being the friend that treats me as well as I treat her! My loyalty will never die for you! I love you like the sister I never had!

Richelle Ryan and I out on the town.

Always and 4 Eva Notty xoxoxo

Be sure to check out Eva’s pictorials 

Eva: Part 1, Eva: Part 2, and Eva: Part 3

Follow Eva @evanotty on Twitter and IG

Getting Notty With Eva: I Choose Life

http://thethrillsociety.com is your link to Thrilling Stuff! This article is just a taste!

 In this picture is a dear friend, 10x’s Ms. Olympia Iris Kyle. 

How come the best lifestyles are the hardest to keep?

How come all of the bad lifestyles come as a second nature to everybody and the hard lifestyles are the most rewarding?

I think that life is too easy if you do not have to struggle. Everyone has different struggles. At some point in your life you will meet someone with similar struggles and this is how we make life long friendships.

Right now I am finding that my main struggles are love and being loved.  I can’t exactly expect anybody to whole heartedly accept my life and all I do. Anybody in their right mind would tell me to go piss up a rope.  “You want me to love you and be okay with you sleeping with other men?” It takes a very strong individual and a very secure man to deal with what I do for a living. This is both something I have to instill in him and something he has to already have learned from his life’s journey.

This is the love of my life. The reason I do believe there is a God and the reason I believe family is the root of happiness. My nephew Tyler. 

I do know that work is just work and all though it may look intimate, it is a paycheck. Not everyone can do what I do. When dealt the cards I was in life I had two choices. Kill myself and take the easy way out or play the hand I was dealt. It is the hardest battle, but I have a great poker face when it comes to life.  Nobody knows I have a flop hand and they are all folding when I am winning with the worst cards in the deck.  I wanted a different life for myself, yes. What we want is not always what is good for us either. I am making the best of my situation and now I am finding it hard to figure out my career path after working in this industry. Every business I start seems to be a little more involved than I can be at that moment. My business partners tend to get a sense of entitlement and ultimately screwing me over.  If there is one thing I have learned is that money does change people. Especially if they do not come from money.  I am not saying I am a breed of my own, but I do not change for anything.  I stay the same stubborn, kind-hearted, loving person until I just can’t handle the pain anymore and then I move onward and upward. Being an outgoing, optimistic person is a way of life. I choose happiness to fill my body and everything I do. Those that want to be negative will get only that and never know what it is like to struggle. I feel that the struggle is what keeps me going.  Always wanting to have a better day than the last, doing good deeds, helping others with my physical being and not money is so freaking rewarding. It puts a smile on my face and makes it easier to deal with my lack of family and loved ones.

If I know the only family I will truly have is the one I create, why have I waited so long to create it? Maybe I am just afraid of bringing anyone into my chaotic world. Death is a frequent visitor in my life often taking the ones I love. Maybe I am shattering myself from it happening even more.

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As Isaac Asimov would say, “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that is troublesome.”

In many ways this is the story of my life.  With no inspiration, motivation, or even a peer to look up to I had to choose life or death as my destiny.  Choosing the not so stiff path I made a decision to get the most out of my life. Moving from a life that would have put me six feet under and starting a life that would make me my own successor was the hardest transition. However, there is no life after death, so I need to live life to it’s fullest.

Moral of the this story is I am at a crossroads right now and I am just going to hope for the best, keep my head up, and my options open. When we aren’t looking for things they usually fall in our lap!

Love and Light,

Always and 4 Eva Notty

Please do not hesitate to ask questions in the reply form below! Take care and don’t forget to smile!

XOXOXO

Be sure to check out Eva’s pictorials
Eva: Part 1 , Eva: Part 2, and Eva: Part 3

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Thrill Girl Eva Notty

My Big Butt Life: Lets Talk About Sex And Of Course Dating

http://thethrillsociety.com is your link to Thrilling Stuff! This article is just a taste!

We are honored to have have Richelle Ryan ask us if she could post her blog My Big Butt Life on TTS.  Richelle will blog about her life and and her sports addiction! 

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Let’s talk about Sex and of course Dating….

This is a blog I have always wanted to go in length about and discuss and since I get asked a 678 questions about my dating life I thought I would share a little bit…. Dating in my industry is TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH. It requires a lot of trust, love, and NO INSECURITIES!!! I’ve been single for 7 years, My last relationship was with my ex fiancé who I met right when I moved to La through a mutual friend, I was young… 22 years old, didn’t really date much growing up, I was always a mover & shaker and a hard headed stripper just wanting to live life, make money and bang whatever bad boy I could get my hands on. When I met my ex I hate to sound so cliche but I immediately knew it was love at first sight, I said to myself ” I’m gonna marry this man” we dated for 3 years while I was in the industry which had it’s ups and downs. He went with me to the AVN”s, The Nightmoves award show in Tampa, a few porn parties, he bounced a couple of bachelor parties for me and my girlfriends but I never ever brought him to set because that is a HUGE way of NOT getting booked again by the director and he just didn’t need to be there. We had our struggles like any couple would… he never threw anything in my face about my job to make me feel bad because he knew everything what he was getting himself involved in with me. A few times I would bring my girlfriends home for him to bang but it never interested him, he was a stubborn jew and wanted just me, which is cool but I was trying to be the fun loving nice girlfriend. 1 time when we were in Vegas I hired a Vegas hooker from 1 of the 1-800 Call ads and I left him fuck her, she was cute and I ‘ll never forget the entire time she kept thinking we were cops LOL After 3 years of dating we got engaged and I took a break from the industry.. I guess you can say I’m old fashion and didn’t want to have to take off my stunner 8 caret engagement ring to have to go to work and get banged out. Our relationship ended for varies reasons but the main reason which sounds weird was that I was like the female version of him…. kinda scary to a guy. To this day we are the best of friends and he will always hold a place dear in my heart. Attached is a candid picture of us from a wedding we attended for 1 of my cousins in NJ.

I have many reasons for not jumping back in the saddle or having a boyfriend, As you can imagine it’s so hard to date being a porn star. I’m not looking for a fuck buddy because I can have that, Hell… I have sex with myself 2x a day and I don’t have to put on makeup, brush my hair and sometimes don’t have to brush my teeth for it to happen LOL What we don’t get in the porn world is the emotional end of it… the connection with someone. Everyone wants to feel and be loved, held, kissed, cuddle with, go to the movies, have dinner, share stories and just be with. I’m at a point now where I’d love to date and find a guy to spend quality time with but I’m very picky, which nothing is wrong with that and I also have to protect myself, last thing I need is to date a creeper LOL I’m sure about 90% of you reading this think you have my type of man I’m looking for figured out… and I can guarantee your probably wrong. I honestly don’t have a type… My ex was a short, husky jew… I dated a blonde stripper when I was in my 20’s and was committed to Tuna Town and being a box muncher for 5 months of my life… I’ve also dated black men, puerto ricans, 1 Korean and a Israeli. Needless to say I’ve been with every color under the rainbow and like I’ve always said… “love doesn’t have a gender, race, or religion”. Attached are some of my ex’s who I managed not to erase all evidence of.
Last year living in Vegas I went on 5 dates and nothing went any further than a first date… I’m starting to think I should write on book on the disasters of 1st dates. Vegas is a tough city to date in… Everyone has a vice I feel like… Big drinker, degenerate gambler, fuck boys, Hosts and of course the never ending amount of pimps that still control the city. Two of my dates were Cops – which is a little to close to home for me + cops in Vegas are the most miserable people I have ever met, one was a bartender who had a ego the size of my ass and was a huge closet alcoholic & gambler, #4 was a Blackjack dealer at the Cosmopolitan who was pimping out the carpet walker girls late nights and working with the pimps in the city on the side, explains why he lived in a condo on the strip and drove a Bentley- No blackjack dealer is making that kind of money in this city, My last date was a host at 1 of the hottest nightclubs in the city and I felt was just trying to use me for my following and connections plus he was originally from Boston and a die hard Patriots fan so even if we did start dating we probably would have killed each other by football season LOL A lot of Men are very intimidated by my line of work she is completely understandable…Imagine that convo over Thanksgiving dinner at the family’s house how your girlfriend gets banged out by 11-inch Lexington Steele for a living and you have to help her shave her deep booty crack before the shoot so everything is smooth… AWKWARD!!! I know who I am and outside of what I do for a living I live a very normal, healthy lifestyle. I live in Las Vegas and LOVE it beyond words, I’m a gym rat and love to workout, I practice Bikram Hot Yoga five times a week, I have a sweet French Bulldog puppy who is my world that I love taking to the puppy parks and all over town and even when I travel since I have him registered as a service dog. I’m a sports nut and HUGE New York Giants football fan so I go to a lot of games during the season. I enjoy doing typical girl things… Spa Days, Shopping, going to the movies, I love going out to eat… I will eat anywhere there is a menu LOL and of course just being a homebody. Maybe I’m still in that stage I was in my late teens early 20’s but with just a better career, bigger home, new city and new friends. I’m always gonna be a hustler nothing will ever change that, my work, health, family and Icon (my frenchie) will always be #1. I hope many of you can enjoy seeing what it’s like from my perspective and not assume the many crazy rings I hear about myself or read on the web, your hearing it straight from the source 

Off for my typical routine- G.T.L.- Gym, Tan, Laundry! LOL!

Richelle Ryan

XOXOXO

The Wondering Mind Of Eva: My Heart Bleeds

http://thethrillsociety.com is your link to Thrilling Stuff! This article is just a taste!

My Heart Bleeds …

I can honestly say that I am going to make some wiser decisions in 2016. I have opened my heart and my world to the idea of a love that will love without reservation and passion that will never stop taking my breath away.

I had two interesting relationships this year. One came with lots of baggage and I fell head over heels. It was most interesting and best six months of my life. He never did wrong in my eyes. Everywhere we went we were loved and adored. He was my best friend and the best lover I ever had. He just kinda lost himself, and tarnished our relationship in the process.

I met someone on the internet in December of 2014 and finally called him up and asked him to hit up the gym with me. He gladly accepted. I vented to him about how miserable I was loving someone that didn’t love me back. He was in the same situation. So we decided to be each other’s distractions from our unsatisfactory relationships. It worked for a while, a little to well. We both knew that we didn’t want anything serious. He was not into dating girls in my line of work nor was I wanting anything serious. So we were comfort buddies with no strings attached, just a passionate friendship. Well it didn’t take long for that to blossom into something we knew should’ve never happened.

I can honestly say that he had me fooled that he accepted me and what I do for a living. There was a lot of emotional damage. I am not sure if I brought out the bad in him or if he was naturally that possessive and abusive. I can also be a bit hard to deal with as I am a very independent, strong-willed woman that does not let anyone tell me what to do. I am
more responsive to suggestions, verses someone trying to dictate my every action. This does not set well with over bearing control freaks. My job is the main factor I know.
I could never date a man in the industry. It would make me a wreck. This not only made him a wreck, but brought out the abusive side of him. I agree that he had to have been an abusive person before we meet. People don’t start this behavior 35 years into their life. It was there all along.

I love a strong willed, confident, alfa male, that is not threatened by a strong, independent, woman. Confidence is the biggest turn on ever. In the beginning he was all that and more. As time went on and feelings got involved, it was hard to say either one of us were happy. I gave him no reason to think I had eyes for anyone, but him. I guess my way of life was just tearing him up inside bringing out the green eyed monster to its fullest. I could’ve never accepted the jealousy he demonstrated and the things he cooked up in his mind.

With all that we went thru and experienced together I had no idea what to think, feel or if it was just a bad dream. All I knew is that I missed him and had no idea why. I still to this day. I am not exactly sure why things got as crazy as they did, but one thing is for sure I have never had a break up like this before.

I do not have one enemy nor do I have ill will towards anyone. All of my ex’s have remained friends and always will be. This relationship I thought was going to be my first. This weighed heavy on my heart, so I decided to text him a picture. We texted a few nasty words back and forth and ended up deciding that we wanted one more night together for closure.

Probably not the smartest thing to do, but I was willing to take the chance. We agreed no talking about the past, no attitudes, and no arguing. One final good bye. It was the most heart felt and emotional goodbye I have ever had. I can honestly say I truly love that man and wished things would have worked out. We just were not meant to be. I can say that the tears that fell from my face are filled with a bunch of different emotions. Sure I am sad to see him go, but I happy he is on his way to finding the one he is meant to spend the rest of his life.

I can’t tell you how many times I fought with him. I only remember the good and that is what hurts the most. We laughed so much together. I was able to be myself around him. In a perfect world he was honestly the one I let get away. I can’t hold on to something that just was not meant to be for selfish reasons. He would’ve stayed, but in the end we both agreed that it needed to end. When they say you never know what you got until its gone, works the same for feelings. I never knew how much he truly meant to me and how in love with him I was until he was gone.

When people ask me how to get into the adult entertainment industry, I tell them you have got to be willing to give up your life. So think long and hard about your decision. If you don’t mind being single, lonely, and hated every day of your life, then go for it. Have your goals, never loose site of them, and have an escape plan. Because you can’t do it forever. If you can honestly say that you are willing to do these things then go for it.

Read more at: http://thethrillsociety.com/the-wondering-mind-of-eva-my-heart-bleeds/